Slippery When Wet

Today I was walking from the bus stop to work and realized that the line outside the Peet’s wasn’t too long yet. It usually goes out the door and around the building. I was getting there just as it was going out the door so I thought I’d get a cup there as I didn’t get a chance to pull a shot of espresso at home.

So as I’m standing there behind a tall banker, I kind of tripped on the wet sidewalk tiles as we were scooting up. I didn’t fall, but my shoes made a noise. He looked up at the noise. He kind of looked around conspiritorially and said-

“Yeah, you’ve got to be careful- they wet all the sidewalks down when they sweep in the morning,” he leaned in more and added, “because they piss and poop on the sidewalks.” He nodded towards some homeless people over by the bank.

“At my building over there, they have to sweep out near the wall in particular way back by that bush because it’s hidden so well and they poop over there because no one can see them.”

I said, “yeah, I’ve seen it more out in the open- right over there between the newspaper stands and that Bart elevator. The newspaper machines hide them from street view, but just barely. I’ve walked by and had to step over human feces” He scrunched up his face at that like that was just a touch too savage.

As we scooted up in the line and got in to the Peet’s he said, “At first I thought you tripped because you were looking at those two girls. That blonde looks like a young Heather Locklear.”

“Nope, I guess it was just the sidewalk. It’s Monday and I’m not awake yet.”

I didn’t want to admit I was staring at her friend. But then again, you all knew that anyway.